Between 2011 and 2015, around 17.1% of women and 15.9% of men between the ages of 18 and 44 were cohabiting with partners. [1]
Going through a break-up and need to move?
Here are some tips for navigating the move.
Don’t Argue Over Who Gets What
Remember that engaging in arguments over material possessions will only prolong the healing process and make the moving process even more stressful.
Here are some tips to help you navigate this challenging situation:
- Focus on What Truly Matters: Rather than fixating on material possessions, try to prioritize your emotional well-being and the larger picture of starting anew. Remember that possessions can be replaced, but your mental and emotional health is invaluable.
- Make a List and Categorize Items: By creating a list of belongings and categorizing them, you can have a clearer picture of what is essential to you. This approach allows for a fair and rational way to divide things, rather than arguing over every item.
- Consider Mediation or Professional Help: If you find it challenging to reach an agreement on your own, consider seeking the help of a mediator or professional counselor who specializes in divorce or separation cases. They can assist in facilitating discussions and finding fair solutions for both parties.
- Be Open to Compromise: Approach this process with an open mind and a willingness to compromise. A fair division of belongings means that both parties might have to give up certain items they desire. By being open to compromise, you can avoid unnecessary arguments and create a more cooperative atmosphere.
- Take Turns Choosing: Another effective method for dividing belongings is to take turns choosing the items you want. This process ensures a fair distribution and allows both parties to have an equal say in the matter. Be respectful and avoid any temptations to sabotage the other person's choices.
- Focus on Sentimental Value: If there are items that hold significant sentimental value to both parties, consider finding a way to share or duplicate them. This can involve taking photos or making copies, allowing both individuals to hold onto memories without the need for conflict.
- Seek Legal Advice, if Necessary: In more complex cases where significant assets or valuable items are involved, seeking legal advice may be necessary to ensure a fair distribution. A family law attorney can guide you through the legal process and protect your rights during this difficult time.
Ask Friends and Family for Help Moving
One of the best ways to make your move smoother during this emotional period is to ask friends and family for assistance. Not only can they provide physical help, but their presence and support can make for a more positive and less lonely experience.
Consider those individuals who have consistently been by your side through thick and thin. These are the people who truly care about your well-being and are likely to lend a helping hand without hesitation. It is essential to select a mix of dependable friends and supportive family members who can assist you with the physical aspects of the move.
Be open and honest about your situation and let them know that you are going through a breakup or divorce and require their assistance for your upcoming move. Explain the specific tasks you need help with, such as packing, lifting heavy objects, or organizing your belongings. By clearly articulating your needs, you allow your friends and family to understand how they can best assist you during this time.
Organizing a moving day with your support network will not only make the process more efficient but also create a sense of unity and accomplishment. Reach out to your friends and family well in advance and provide them with the date and time of the move.
Moving can be physically demanding and emotionally draining, so make sure to regularly thank them for their support and consider offering some gesture of appreciation in return, such as providing snacks or refreshments throughout the day or organizing a small gathering afterward as a token of your gratitude.
Be patient and understanding if someone accidentally damages an item or struggles with a task. Remember, their willingness to help during this challenging time is what truly matters
Be Kind to Yourself During the Process
By being kind to yourself throughout the moving process, you can navigate this difficult phase more smoothly and emerge stronger on the other side.
Give yourself permission to grieve the end of your relationship and process your emotions. Moving can be physically and mentally demanding, take breaks when you need them and allow yourself time to heal. Be patient with yourself and understand that moving during a breakup or divorce may take longer than usual, and that’s perfectly okay.
Consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationship transitions. They can help you process your emotions, develop coping strategies, and navigate the complexities that come with moving during a breakup or divorce.
Sorting through your belongings may bring up memories and emotions that make the task more arduous. Give yourself permission to let go of items that no longer serve you. Embrace the opportunity for a fresh start and surround yourself with only the things that truly bring you joy and positivity. Downsizing and decluttering can be therapeutic, and you’ll start your new chapter with a lighter load both physically and emotionally.
Treat yourself to moments of relaxation, whether it’s indulging in a favorite hobby, taking a walk in nature, or spending quality time with loved ones. These activities can help reduce stress, promote emotional healing, and provide a much-needed break from the chaos of moving.
Surround Yourself with Loved Ones
Having a support system in place can make a world of difference when faced with the daunting task of moving.
They can provide a listening ear, offer comforting words of encouragement, and even assist you with the physical aspects of moving. Whether it’s packing boxes, loading the truck, or unpacking in your new space, having a helping hand from a loved one can alleviate some of the stress and make the process smoother.
If you have children, prioritize their emotional well-being by surrounding them with loved ones as well. Divorce or breakup can be particularly tough for children, so it’s important to provide them with a strong support system. Involve grandparents, aunts, uncles, and close family friends who can be there for them during the move and afterward. Keeping the lines of communication open and ensuring they feel loved and supported can make the transition easier for them.
Make a Plan for Children and Pets
Other than dealing with the emotional aspects of a separation, you also have to consider the well-being of your children and pets during this transition. To ensure a smooth and peaceful move for everyone involved, make a solid plan for your children and pets.
Here are some tips to help you navigate through this process.
- Prioritize the Best Interests of Your Children:
When children are involved, their well-being should always be the top priority. Take the time to have open and honest conversations with your ex-partner about what is best for your children in terms of their living arrangements, schools, and any necessary adjustments they might need to make. Consider factors such as stability, proximity to friends and family, and the quality of education in the new location. - Maintain Routine and Stability
Children thrive on routine and familiarity, so maintaining as much stability as possible during the move is important. Try to coordinate the move during a time that minimizes disruption to their daily lives, such as school breaks or weekends. Try to keep their routine as consistent as possible, even amidst the chaos of packing and relocating. - Involve Your Children in the Process:
Moving can be a difficult concept for children to grasp, especially when combined with a breakup or divorce. Involve your children in age-appropriate discussions about the move, explaining the reasons behind it and allowing them to express their feelings. They may have questions or concerns that need to be addressed, listen and provide reassurance. Involving them in the packing and decision-making process can also help them feel more in control and lessen their anxiety. - Co-Parenting Agreement:
If you and your ex-partner are sharing custody of your children, establish a clear and comprehensive co-parenting agreement. Address details such as visitation schedules, transportation arrangements, and how decisions regarding the children will be made. The agreement should be focused on providing stability, support, and clear communication, ensuring a smooth transition for your children throughout the moving process. - Plan for Your Pets' Well-Being:
Pets are part of the family too, so don't forget to plan for their well-being during the move. If you and your ex-partner both have pets, discuss whether joint ownership is feasible or if one of you will assume full responsibility. Consider factors such as suitable living arrangements, access to veterinary care, and the emotional well-being of your pets. If necessary, seek advice from a veterinarian or animal behaviorist to ensure a smooth transition for your furry friends.
Hire Professional Movers
Moving is often considered one of life’s most stressful events, and when it coincides with a breakup or divorce, the emotional toll can be even more intense.
From packing and organizing to physically moving your belongings, this can feel overwhelming. By enlisting the services of professional movers, you can alleviate the physical and emotional strain associated with the moving process.
Professional movers bring a wealth of experience and expertise to ensure a smooth and efficient move. They are trained to handle all types of items, from fragile heirlooms to bulky furniture, using proper packing techniques and protective materials.
When you’re going through a breakup or divorce, it can be difficult to find the mental and emotional energy to carefully handle every aspect of the move. Professional movers eliminate this burden by taking on the responsibility of packing, loading, and unloading your belongings.
Professional movers are equipped with the necessary tools and equipment to handle any move. Whether you are relocating to a nearby neighborhood or across the country, they have the resources and knowledge to transport your belongings safely and securely.
Moving heavy furniture, navigating narrow doorways, and lifting bulky items can be physically demanding and potentially lead to injuries. Trusting professionals who are well-versed in these tasks significantly reduces the risk of accidents or damage.
They typically offer insurance coverage for your belongings, ensuring that they will be financially responsible in case of any damages or losses. Knowing that your possessions are in capable and caring hands can minimize anxiety and enable you to focus on healing and rebuilding your life post-breakup or divorce.
Seek Legal Help if Needed
Apart from the emotional turmoil, there are several legal aspects that need to be taken into consideration during this time. Seek legal help to ensure a smooth and fair transition during this challenging period. [2]
Consult with an experienced family law attorney. They can provide you with invaluable advice and guidance on how to navigate the legal intricacies associated with moving during a breakup or divorce. A family law attorney will have a deep understanding of the relevant laws and regulations, and they can assist you in making well-informed decisions.
Establishing a solid co-parenting plan that caters to the best interests of your children requires legal expertise. An attorney can assist you in negotiating a fair custody agreement and guide you through the process of getting it legally approved.
Seeking legal help will ensure that you understand your rights and obligations regarding the distribution of assets and finances. Moving out of a shared residence during a breakup or divorce can involve complex property division issues. A skilled attorney can help you evaluate the assets and debts accumulated during the relationship and work towards a fair settlement.
Laws regarding moving with children, especially across state or international borders, can be intricate. An attorney will help you understand the legal requirements and assist in obtaining the necessary permissions and documentation.
If you are looking to move out due to divorce or separation and you live in Minnesota or Western Wisconsin, book a free consultation with Matt’s moving today!
FAQs
Start by updating your address with the appropriate authorities, such as the post office, banks, insurance companies, and government agencies. Notify friends, family, and important contacts of your new address as well. Contact utility providers to transfer or cancel services at your old residence and set up new accounts in your new home. Arrange for the disconnection and reconnection of utilities to ensure a smooth transition. Update your driver's license, vehicle registration, and voter registration to reflect your new address. Make a checklist of all important tasks and systematically work through them to ensure nothing is overlooked.
Take the time to create a supportive and nurturing environment in your new space by personalizing it to reflect your tastes and preferences. Set realistic goals and create a routine that promotes self-care, such as exercise, hobbies, or therapy. Building a support system of friends, family, or a therapist can provide emotional support during this challenging time. Focus on self-growth, explore new interests, and set new aspirations for the future.
Familiarize yourself with any existing court orders or agreements regarding the division of property, custody, and visitation rights. If you have joint debts or financial obligations, consult with your attorney to determine the best course of action to protect your interests. Document the condition of the shared property before leaving and take an inventory of valuable items to avoid potential disputes later.
Sources:
[1] Cohabitation is Pervasive. (n.d.). Institute for Family Studies. https://ifstudies.org/blog/cohabitation-is-pervasive
[2] Women, S. F. (2021, August 22). 21 Steps to Moving Out of the House After Divorce. Divorce Advice and Coaching for Women | SAS. https://sasforwomen.com/21-steps-moving-out-of-the-house-after-divorce/
